Be a SoulBird | Live the Life You’ve Dreamed
As I look back on the past few years, my life seems surreal. How did this happen? Somehow my dreams have become my reality – I really have been able to create a new life for myself. It’s not just about the travel and beautiful places I’ve been blessed to visit, but the changes inside. I feel my inner light shining full of happiness and contentment.
The definition of a SoulBird by singer/songwriter India Arie truly resonates with me.
“You know A SoulBird by the INTENTION with which they live their life. Us SoulBird’s are seeking to give life to our wings, and wings to our dreams, with the intention of making the world a better place, one person at a time … beginning with OURSELVES. A SoulBird can be a thinker, a dreamer, a lover, an explorer, a healer, a warrior, a spiritualist, a scientist, a seeker, an adventurer, a teacher, an artist, a helper, a doctor, a Mom, a Dad, … see the thing is, it’s not WHAT you do, but WHY you do what you do. Simply put, a SoulBird is a person living with the intentions of growing, rising up, and elevating, because we know that, like Ghandi said “we must be the change we wish to see in the world.”
When people tell me I’m lucky to travel and live the life I do, I agree. Every morning for me begins with a prayer of gratitude – excited and thankful for another beautiful day. I’ve always been a happy person, even through the rough patches in my life and tried to live in a positive way, but just a few short years ago it wasn’t so easy. My dad was losing his battle with Parkinson’s; Mom was diagnosed with cancer; we learned there is a cancer gene that runs in our family which led to a precautionary hysterectomy for me; my last baby was about to graduate college leaving me with an empty nest; my 25 year marriage was over; and there were financial problems. I was exhausted, overweight, and felt like the world was crashing in on me.
After losing both parents in a one year period and selling our house during the divorce process, I set myself up in my own apartment. This cozy new place was my first venture into living alone. At the age of 17 I had moved straight into married student housing with my first child on the way. The sanctuary of my own little place was perfect. It was just what I needed to begin the healing process.
The next year was full of changes. I added yoga, meditation, and walking to my daily routine along with counseling, praying and reading every self help book imaginable. After a year of soul searching, I decided it was time to shake it up. My life to this point had revolved around caring for others, now with just myself to worry about, it was time to really think about what made me happy.
I’m sharing all this not because I want sympathy, but as encouragement to others. We all go through tough times. Some seem impossible to overcome, and the trials in my life are nothing compared to what so many others have endured. The challenge is to continue to believe in ourselves. We are stronger than we think. Often we get stuck in what we know, or trying to make others happy, and forget about ourselves along the way. We have way more power than we realize. We limit ourselves so much. It takes great courage to make changes, but if we are true to ourselves, we can find what makes our soul sing.
A good friend got me started writing in a journal each morning, making a list of everything I was grateful for. This simple act of starting my day with positive thoughts got me to looking at my life from a fresh perspective. Another tip I followed was to try going one full day without one negative thought or comment (that includes berating yourself). It’s harder than you think, but over a period of time it can greatly change the way you act and feel. When you take the time to be grateful, an inner peace and calm starts to settle in. Add some laughter every day (big belly laughs) even if it’s a stupid comedy to get you started on the right track. Don’t let fear or that inner voice get in the way of living your life to the fullest. Choose to be positive, content and happy. Change your thoughts, and you will change your life.
As I started to feel good about myself again, I began to think more about what direction I wanted to go in my life. I knew I wanted to travel, so the key was to find a way. Not just a vacation, but really go out into the world, meet new people, and experience other cultures. I wanted to see what was outside the little bubble of my own existence. Always being a planner, I put it all on excel spreadsheets.
My first plan was to travel a few weeks, come back and work in my photography studio for a while, then travel again. During a conversation with my son-in-law Colin, my thoughts changed again. In his words, “I would only get my toe in the water”. Back to the excel spreadsheets, I began to realize if I didn’t have my apartment and all the associated expenses (utilities, insurance, internet, charter, etc.) I could travel longer. Couple that with the money I could save by collecting airline points and specials on places to stay, and the plan would work.
For the next few months things were put into motion. I did not renew my apartment lease, which helped me to choose a date to “fly the coop”. I sold, gave away or stored nearly everything I owned. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. When I make up my mind about something, I can be pretty stubborn, and I was determined to do this. However, purchasing the one way ticket to Ecuador was so out of character for me it felt surreal. It was exhilarating and scary all at the same time.
Friends & family must have thought I’d gone completely off the deep end. The conversations would start with “Oh, that’s nice, you need to get away for a while..” then turn to “WHAT…, you mean you’re traveling to another country? ALONE? How long did you say you’ll be gone?” My kids must have been really worried. Knowing how directionally challenged I am, getting lost in my own neighborhood, they gave me a gps for Christmas in anticipation of the trip. As the door closed on the plane to Ecuador in January 2014, I felt a little panic, and considered running off the plane. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew it was something I had to do.
My time in Ecuador was amazing, just what I needed. My life since then has not turned out exactly like I expected, but then again, I’m not sure what I expected. Two days before leaving Ecuador I met someone special. Bill was a fellow traveler making his own solo journey from Michigan to Ecuador. Soon we were traveling together, and I couldn’t have found a more perfect partner. Once again, I’m sure my kids had conversations along the lines of “What do we do about mom?”
Bill and Cathy in Chiang Mai Thailand
To say the choices I have made have been life-changing is an understatement. I re-discovered myself, and feel more content and happy than I have in years. The “old” me is back. It’s been a growing process that has made me feel like a kid again. Many times along the way, I’ve done something that reminded me – wow, I used to love to do this when I was a kid. Simple things, like riding a bike, reading a book under a tree, and just enjoying nature in the curious way kids do. By being active and happy, the extra weight has dropped off, and I feel better than I have in years.
Travel really does change you. It’s so easy to stay with the familiar, but such a blessing to venture into the unknown. In just two years of long term travel I’ve seen everything from the amazing to the heartbreaking. Meeting people from different cultures, seeing how they live and hearing their stories has given me a whole new perspective. Seeing life first hand is a lot different than reading about or hearing someone else’s opinions on the nightly news.
No, things aren’t perfect anywhere, but there is so much beauty and good, kind souls in the world. It is inspirational to meet people who continue to live a life full of happiness and smiles despite the poverty and difficulties in their every day lives.
Sweet woman we met in Thailand
The inner happiness of this woman we met in Thailand oozes out in her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes. No matter what age, or what period of life you are in right now, I encourage you to step out of the familiar whenever possible. It’s easy to get stuck in our old habits, but if we can just push ourselves to get up off the couch and out the door, there is an amazing world out there full of beautiful people and things to see at every turn. If you’ve ever thought you’d enjoy traveling – just go! Not just the one week vacation we are so accustomed to in the US, but a longer travel experience. Get to know the people and cultures in a place you aren’t familiar with. It may seem impossible, but if you really want to do it, you can find a way. At the very least, spend a few weekends exploring someplace you’ve never been before.
Maybe traveling isn’t your thing, but there is something else you’d love to do. Take a painting or pottery class; go on a hike in a new, unfamiliar place and soak in every detail of nature; run (or walk) a 5k; get up early to watch the sunrise, sit on a hilltop and watch the sunset; act like a kid again – climb a tree, try a new food, learn to play an instrument; skip, run, jump in a lake wearing nothing but your skin (that may or may not have happened.)
Whatever your passion is – go for it! Take a fresh look at new possibilities. It doesn’t have to be the same. I’m thankful every day that I took a leap of faith, stepped out of my comfort zone, and flew the coop. Whatever dream you have trapped inside, or think is impossible – push yourself to make it happen.
Josias and Joey
We met Josias and his pet Joey in Florida. He is an amazingly kind and compassionate man with a perpetual smile on his face and twinkle in his eye. Originally from Venezuela, his journey involved many years of persistence. Thirteen years for his green card, and another three years for the moment that he dreamed of since the day he set foot on US soil. Congratulations Josias on becoming a US citizen!I love this quote – “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” So, I challenge you to think about it. Is there something you haven’t tried, but always thought you’d like to? Is there a place you’ve always wanted to go, a hobby you thought you’d enjoy? Go past the fear and excuses and give it a try. It can be big or small. What have you got to lose? Just go for it!
I’ve made the commitment, my dream has evolved. I now consider myself a travel photographer and writer. Can I make a living doing this – writing and traveling? The juries still out on that one, but every day I learn knew ways to make it happen, at least until I write that best selling novel. You know the one that becomes a hit movie with Sandra Bullock & Matthew McConaughey? A girl can dream, right? I really do believe anything is possible if you work hard enough, long enough, and believe it can happen. We all the the freedom to perceive something different, infinite possibilities, something you can’t even concede because you never know when one thing leads to another. My decision to go to travel alone to Ecuador changed everything.
When you live an unconventional life, outside the box, people don’t always understand or approve. My hope is that my story can in some way be an inspiration to others. Your dream may not be to travel, but whatever it is, believe it can happen. Don’t let the disapproval of others or your own self doubts get in the way. We all have our own journey. Try not to compare yourself to others, but stay focused on what will bring you inner peace and happiness. When you find that within yourself, the world around you will be a better place. If we are happy with ourselves, we are better for our family, friends, and everyone we come in touch with in our lives. Good vibrations really can make a difference. So step out of your comfort zone and into the unknown, spread your wings and let your SoulBird fly!
I’d love to hear about what makes your heart sing – please leave a comment and share your dreams. You never know, that may just be the start of making your own wishes come true.
