Overcoming fear: Sailing Lessons on Lake Michigan

Trying something new

If you see me at the helm of a sailboat – you might need to take warning! Bill & I recently completed a 4-day sailing course at Great Lakes Sailing. It was one of the most exciting, challenging, difficult, exhilarating, and scary things I have ever attempted.

With no prior experience sailing or driving a boat, the amount of information was a little overwhelming. When given the helm at the end of the first day to park (I mean dock the boat), my mind went blank and panic set in. Terrified and frozen at the helm, the wind moved the boat in directions I did not want to go. Crashing into poles, the dock or other boats seemed a real possibility. Thankfully Bill and our new sailing class friend, Bob, jumped to my aid.

Have you ever had great anticipation for something only to find it is not what you expected, or in this case much harder to accomplish than you expected? I have wanted to learn to sail for years, and always enjoy a chance to photograph sailboats. The picture in my mind of just gliding across the water didn’t follow through to the actual skills involved.

Overcoming Fear

Leaving class that first day, wanting to give up and convinced I would never pass, fear seemed stronger than the desire to learn to sail. It became a battle of my own wills to go back the next day and complete the course.

How do we overcome fears?

How do we convince ourselves to try again? Parking a car is a challenge for me, what made me think I could park (dock) a sailboat? My brain was overloaded with new terms. How do you train yourself to think port and starboard when you’re already directionally challenged with right and left? Not to mention windward, leeward, fall off, …. I have trouble with East & West!

Maybe I’d go back, but just observe? Maybe this was just too much for me to learn so quickly or maybe it was the instructor’s fault. Yeah, it’s easy to make excuses and blame others. What I really needed was to just calm down, push past my fear, and try again.

So… after a few tears, deep breaths, and a good night’s sleep, I was back on the sailboat.

It was easier to laugh at myself the last day when the pressure was off. A couple days earlier tears were much closer than a smile. I wanted to jump up and down like Dora the Explorer exclaiming “I did it, I did it”!

I Did it!

The next three days of class were smooth sailing, and so much fun! Thank you to our instructor, Captain Dirk, for having patience with me the next morning, but still pushing me to my limits. He was right when he said, I knew what I was doing, but just wasn’t letting myself do it. When we admit our fears it somehow gives you the power to confront them. Often people along the way are willing to help us through. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives.

Thanks also to the kind words of encouragement from Bill and our sailing mates Bob & Sheridan.

Captain Dirk

Skimming across the water with the wind in the sails is an amazing feeling. It was still very challenging, and a lot to learn, but as I relaxed into it, the nervousness and fear slowly melted away.

I made it through the challenge.

This might have been one of the scariest things I’ve personally followed through and finished. I hate to quit, but this one was a very real challenge for me. What is it that gives us the perseverance to push through that wall of fear? I love this quote by Margaret Mitchell, the author of Gone With The Wind.

“If Gone With the Wind has a theme it is that of survival. What makes some people come through catastrophes and others, apparently just as able, strong, and brave, go under? It happens in every upheaval. Some people survive; others don’t. What qualities are in those who fight their way through triumphantly that are lacking in those that go under? I only know that survivors used to call that quality ‘gumption.’ So I wrote about people who had gumption and people who didn’t.”
― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

Of course learning to sail was nothing compared to people faced with survival, but it makes one wonder “Where does it come from?” There are memories from childhood when I held back out of fear. Later, it felt like I had missed out on something and wished I had at least tried. Is it these moments when we regret not doing something that give us the courage to face the next challenge? Or is it facing a fear, pushing through, and reaping the rewards that encourages us the next time? Or is it just being in a situation where we see no other choice? Public speaking is a fear for many people, and one that is tough to master, but when it’s part of your job you have no choice. In the 15 years of owning my dance studio, I never did get over the fear of taking the microphone in hand. There were butterflies in my stomach and waves of nausea prior to every show.

So what does makes the difference? What is it that helps to push us past our fears, what gumption or resolve inside each of us rises up to meet the challenge or fear head on? Where do we get the courage to persevere when we feel like curling into a safe ball and giving up. We can choose to stop living and miss out on life, or we can fearlessly move forward without excuses, embracing our mistakes and learning as we go. Being fearless doesn’t necessarily mean we aren’t afraid, but that we don’t let the fear hold us back. It’s a question that continually comes to mind.

Reflecting on my sailing experience, it’s easy to ask “What was I so afraid of?” Was it a feeling of failure? There really is no definitive answer. Life is a constant journey. We can choose to give up or learn and grow every day. It really is a beautiful adventure!

What are your greatest fears – how have you overcome them?

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. 

~ Mark Twain

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